Question:  How do I add treatments and appointments on top of my (already) full schedule?                                        

I was buzzing along working 50-60 hours a week, trying to squeeze in exercising in my home gym, and fulfilling my roles as wife, mom, daughter, friend, and so forth.  My days were FULL.  Then a breast cancer diagnosis became an unexpected, sudden, required detour.   I no longer knew what was ahead in my day-to-day routine...

Cancer = Change... especially in relation to our bodies, thoughts, and daily routines.  I recognized right away that the two biggest areas of impact or control I could grasp onto were 1) minding my thoughts and 2) getting organized for all of the shifts in my routine to accommodate appointments, surgeries, treatments, and recovery.  

What really helped me stay calm and focused was to map out my journey in this template I called the Treatment Roadmap.  This helped ME by creating focus and it also saved time as a quick share with others vs crafting different emails, texts or making individual calls every time.  If this would interest you or you would like to see more... check out the following:

1. "4 Reasons You Need A Treatment Roadmap" are outlined in my blog here.   
2. "5 Actions to Calm Chaos & Overwhelm" are outlined in my blog here.
3. Download the Treatment Roadmap template when you register for the Diagnosis Detour Collection for FREE here (my first eBook and multiple downloadable templates as shown in image to left).

Back to Questions

Question:  How do I visually capture and share the steps to get the cancer out of me?                                  

I am a visual person.  Right from the beginning I needed a "map".  Something to show me where I had been and where I was going next.  I created what I called the Treatment Roadmap. I could now focus on what the next step was and the next step after that.  I tried to stay present with where I was and not get too far ahead as that can quickly lead you to fear.  All of this also balancing that goal and focus of "when will this cancer be OUT OF ME?". 

I will also admit that I quickly became overwhelmed with trying to keep everyone updated and the number of questions and loving inquiries that people had for me that came in from every direction (email, text, phone calls, social media... you name it).  "When is your next treatment?  How many chemo treatments have you finished?  How many are left to go?  When do you start radiation?  When is your surgery?"  I found it much easier to post a picture of this Treatment Roadmap to reduce the number of individual responses to my loved ones and family providing what they wanted to know.   I shared it on a CaringBridge page along with a few details and pictures... but you could share it however is best for you.  Or another tip - family and friends will want to help you and ask how they can support you... ask one of them to post your updates and picture of your filled in Treatment Roadmap to a select list of people that you want to keep updated every week or two.  Your job is to rest, heal and take care of YOU!

 If this would interest you or you would like to see more... check out the following:

1. "4 Reasons You Need A Treatment Roadmap" are outlined in my blog here.   
2. Download the Treatment Roadmap template when you register for the Diagnosis Detour Collection for FREE here (my first eBook and multiple downloadable templates as shown in image to left).

Back to Questions

Question: How do I manage, capture and explain my symptoms to my medical team effectively?                                                 

These cancer treatments are a lot for our physical bodies and our emotional states too!  I wanted to feel prepared for my visits with my medical team so that I could articulate what happened in the days/weeks following each treatment.  Each appointment influenced the next "chemo cocktail" so being able to articulate exactly what I was struggling with (or what was going well conversely) was key to this process.  There were a couple of templates that I needed to manage and then show or explain to my medical team:

1. A Doctor Appointment Prep form to capture all of my questions between appointments and then takes notes DURING the appointment on.  Have you ever forgotten some of your questions or didn't feel like you understood the answer before the doctor moved on?  This was a game changer for me!  You can read more in "4 wins from using a Doctor Prep Form" in my blog here.
2. Between appointments I used two forms I created that I named the Body & Emotional Scan templates to show how my body and mind were doing on a daily basis so that the medical team could see any trends after each treatment.  I used markers to color in and provide a quick visual read - red for days that I was miserable and spent mostly in bed; yellow for days that I had symptoms that were manageable; and green for my good days.  And around the graphing I could add details and notes.  These were valuable to my medical team and they appreciated the details.

 Back to Questions

Question: How do I reveal my baldness to my partner?  To others?                                         

Everyone is different and should be authentic in how they want to take this step.   But speaking from my personal experience, I decided to share this very private side of me to a select few people at first whom I trusted would hold space for me and be gentle.

A Christmas tradition was to wear a favorite hat - a Cindy Lou Who santa-like hat.  In this year however, I had started chemo treatments and my hair was now gone.  Family was coming over for the holidays.  I decided to wear this hat as I always did – this time with a wig so that I looked very similar to years past.  I remember that I was standing with my family in the kitchen talking about my wig when my daughter-in-law spoke up and suddenly said that I would rock being bald!  I was nervous and yet knew the time would come so with this encouragement, a group of us snuck off to the bathroom.  I looked at my 2 daughters-in-law and 4 of my granddaughters and asked them cautiously "Are you ready?”  Honestly, I was asking myself this very question in that moment too.  And then I did it… I remembered my youngest granddaughters looking at me with wide eyes – and LOVE!  They loved me – not because I had hair or didn’t have hair.  They loved ME.  And I felt strong and intentional in showing them that I was okay in this moment and revealing my baldness.  My daughter-in-law encouraged me to "embrace rocking the bald head"! 

Wigs and stocking hats (as it was winter in Minnesota) were my initial go-to during this phase.  However, I did struggle with the wigs sitting right and the hats were hot at times.  I had to work through feeling “ugly” without my hair or this costume trying to seem normal… and thanks to loving family I slowly began to let go of the uncomfortable parts and embrace my baldness.

This step takes time and is on your terms. Here are a couple of other things I can share as you consider what is right for YOU.

1. It takes daily practice to love yourself when going through big changes that you have no choice over.  I found a few things that helped me during this time that I share in the "Surrendering Your Hair and Loving Yourself More" blog here

Back to Questions

Question:  How do I continue to ask for support when I am supposed to be back to "normal" now?                                                           

I believe that our healing is ongoing and not something that we can declare is "done".  While the treatments were done it was hard not to feel like I should be back to "normal" again.  It seemed as though everyone else was back to business as usual.  But I recognized in this chapter that I had entered cancer as one person and was exiting as another.  I had a new outlook, priorities and habits.  And cancer wasn't magically out of my mind - every check up, every appointment, every hormone blocker is a reminder that I had this once.  It is a practice to flip the fear and 'what if' thoughts of it returning, along with many other 'what if' scenarios.  

I continue to focus on my health, my mindset, and my habits as a priority in 4 ways.  See my blog here for those - "Remission is the not the destination".

Back to Questions

Question:  How do I say yes to what I want more of and say no to what I want less of?                                                     

One thing that I have learned along this journey is how precious time is. Time can be spent all too easily without a plan, intention and focus... to navigate on autopilot, go numb to where we are headed or get lost.  My weeks, like yours, are filled with things to get done. But the new habits I have adopted for my healing are a practice that I have to balance as a priority along with the things for the household, for work, for my relationships. These habits include identifying and naming what I need. It comes down to intentional focus, boundaries and new practices for me!

1. A planner is essential for my focus, and I wanted habits that surrounded my values too... so I created an Ongoing Healing (Weekly) Planner with Healing Habits included.  You can find these downloadable & printable planner sheets in Companion #7 of the Wisdom Way Collection, as found here.  
2. You may need to set some boundaries to start saying "no" to the many demands that come at us all of the time.  If you need help getting started with boundaries, you might like the Exploring & Defining Boundaries tools in Companion #6 of the Wisdom Way Collection.  
3. What does it look like to move forward honoring your true self?  When you show up as your authentic self, honoring your habits and boundaries, and developing new ambitions and goals... what do you see?  These are all questions I considered as I began to map out my healing ahead in the next 6 months, year and beyond.  Visualizing what I truly wanted and also what it would take to get there required a map.  I created the Healing Blueprint to reflect on some key questions and get my ideas down on paper as these were the things that I wanted to say YES to!  The Healing Blueprint tool is available in Companion #7 of the Wisdom Way Collection here (a set of three eBooks, over a dozen downloadable tools and resources, and a private community).  

Back to Questions

Question:  How do I surround myself with the right people and decide when there may be ones to let go?                                                               

I entered this cancer journey as one person and exiting as another person.  I am intentionally choosing who and what to surround myself with (people as well as environment).  I have discovered through my experience that energy is very important to my health and being aware of things that drain me is important.

1. One big drain on my energy was old beliefs that were no longer serving me or my healing.  Some of old beliefs were what I called "The 4 P's" in my blog here.   I had held on to these for far too long and it was time to practice letting go of those beliefs.   As an important note here too - if you evaluate your own personal experience and healing and there are people/relationships that feel draining... Is it still possible to have a conversation with that individual on what feels draining to you?  Is it possible to set some boundaries?   
2. I created a reflection exercise to get you thinking about WHO serves your healing and WHO doesn't. Who will you surround yourself with in support of your healing?  The tool is called "My Seat at the Table" and is available in Companion #7 within the Wisdom Way Collection here (a set of three ebooks, over a dozen downloadable tools and a private community).

Back to Questions